Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
