I'm laying in your front yard are you home
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
