Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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