I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
