I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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