Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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