Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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