i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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