i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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