you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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