i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
