if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize