I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i need some magic done to my vagina
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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