Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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