he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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