He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize