I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize