don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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