i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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