It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have already put on my inside pants.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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