she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
my poor anus
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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