butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
