when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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