so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
