Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
