I faked an abortion last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
