nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
