areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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