I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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