You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize