Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
