For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
