in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
