He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
