that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
