Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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