I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
