Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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