the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
3pm strippers are depressing
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
