So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
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I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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