No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
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She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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