No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
