now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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