my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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