I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
