How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
