bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
