I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize