Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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