It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
