does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
