I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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