If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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