I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
