hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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