what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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