Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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