I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
