It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
