Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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