we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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