I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize