Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
