god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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