Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
