Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
