Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm at about main and main street
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
