i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
