I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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