i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
