Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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