Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
