Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
