this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He passed out mid-signature
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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