OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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