The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
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My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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