I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize