I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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