That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
