Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
